haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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