if i died would you start the facebook group?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
