Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize