yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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