im drinking this country out of the recession.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
