so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
