i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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