your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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