The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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