so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Randomize
