Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
