I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize