he shaved USA in his pubs
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize