remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
