Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
