just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize