I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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