Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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