I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
