She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
