The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
