Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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