its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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