38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
