Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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