I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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