kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize