Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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