My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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