I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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