the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
