i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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