Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize