You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
