I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you will always have a special place in my vag
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
