Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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