yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
