Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My vagina is officially offended.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
