you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize