5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am available for nakedness
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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