So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
