i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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