i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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