it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
