He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize