Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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