I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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