Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
