I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
