oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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