Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
