you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
