she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize