I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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