We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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