Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
