the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
