dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
