no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
