Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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