His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
