i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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