i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize